Wilmington Word Weavers: January 2015

by Angie Mojica-Barnes

Can I let you in on a secret? I dread January. Hate it. I think the dread stems from going back to school after Christmas break as a kid. I remember getting up before the sun and waiting for the bus in the cold darkness. The routine of school life was starting again and I was ill prepared for it.

The feeling of a dark beginning lingers with me every January. I lose joy at the coming days when all I can see is the work I need to do in order to grow in the areas of my life that I desire: becoming a great writer, a better wife, and a truer follower of Jesus.

In my faulty memory I forget about the progress I've made. Last year I took two writing courses, where I learned so much. I gained a deeper understanding of what real love is: how the mundane and the messy make us stronger as a couple. As for Jesus, He remains far truer to me than I will ever be to him. He continues to show his faithfulness to me by not giving up on me.

God in His sovereignty uses the uncertainty and the icy winds of winter to spur me on to fight for what is important. He teaches me to find value in the struggle and joy hidden in the dark.

He promises me, not victory over every challenge, but to walk with me through the winter until I can see the season’s promise of spring as He blesses the work of my hands.

Friends, He walks with us. He said He would.

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

Angie Mojica-Barnes is a native of Wilmington, North Carolina.
She is a secretary by day and a writer by night. She loves Jesus,
dancing and all things encouraging.

My special china graced the table. Candles lit. Food prepared. I knew they would arrive soon. I could feel their darkness. Though I didn’t like these beguiling enemies, I had invited them for a visit.

A harsh knock at the door warned me of their presence, and I welcomed them in.

As soon as they sat down Discouragement began the conversation.

“You’ve been doing this for years,” she hissed. “You’ve touched a few lives, but where’s the growth to prove your worth, your talent . . . your calling? Your friend’s blog has received a million views; you’ve not gleaned half that.”

With each comparing sentence I slumped farther into my chair.

I could barely breathe.

The other guest, Fear, chimed in, “You are nobody,” he softly echoed. His melancholy voice streamed from pale lips, “Who would want to read your words? Who are you to write Bible studies and books? What audacity!”

His words invited a third guest named Self-Pity. She let herself in and silently pulled up her chair to the table. She did not need to speak.

I placed food on my guests’ plates as I agreed with their slander.

“I know,” I admitted. “I am not good enough.”

After a few hours, satisfied and victorious, Discouragement and Fear sauntered to the door, but Self-Pity hung around. Though silent, her presence further darkened my heart. I didn’t want her there, but I didn’t know how to make her leave.

I heard myself pray, “Help me, Lord.”

Just as quickly as my enemies exited, a gentle, warm, new voice entered the room and whispered into my soul. I couldn’t see His presence, but I knew He was there.

“I am faithful,” He whispered.

His was a voice of hope, encouragement, and promise. His always brought life and light.

“I’ve given you an assignment, my child. Leave the numbers and success to me. Don’t you know my economy is different? I’ve a plan for you. Trust me. Do what I lead you to do.”

The residual darkness from Discouragement, Fear, and Self-Pity began to dissolve as I chose to believe the Holy Spirit. I slowly lifted my hands to the Voice of Promise. I rebuked the voices I’d previously entertained and told them they were no longer welcome.

There would be no special dinner for them tomorrow night. My table would be set only for Jesus. I would prepare His dinner one faithful bog post, one article, or one chapter at a time.

Do you entertain Discouragement, Fear, or Self-Pity as I do? As the New Year approaches, these three resolutions can dispel their power and strengthen our resolve to follow the call to write:

· Don’t entertain negative comparisons. Rebuke those thoughts. Remember God’s economy is different than ours.

· Spend daily time with Jesus, listening to His direction.

· Spend time worshiping the One for whom you write.

What are other ways you can disarm Discouragement, Fear, and Self-Pity?

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)